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Sermon for 29th August 2010 - Love is Not Easily Angered (Part 2)

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Tempering Anger
  1. Resolve to manage it
  2. Remember the cost
  3. Reflect before reacting
  4. Release my anger appropriately
  5. Re-pattern you mind
  6. Rely on God's help

3. Reflect before reacting
  • Think before you speak: 'Anger control is largely a matter of mouth control'
  • Proverbs 29:11, 20
  • Delay is a great remedy to anger

4. Release my anger appropriately
  • Wrong responses to anger - stuff, spew, leak
  • Appropriate response:
    • Anger with wrong reason - confess & let it go
    • Anger for right reason - prayer, and release our feelings, and wherever necessary communicate or seeking ways to re-direct

What Healthy, Appropriate anger looks like:
  1. are quick to hear (hearing others, our primary feelings, and God)
  2. are slow to speak
  3. are slow to anger
  4. when necessary, express it appropriately (express of redirect it, having the right motives and methods)
  5. resolve it

Resolve anger quickly
Ephesians 4:26-27 26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.
"it is okay to be angry - but it's not okay to befriend it. Anger is mean to be a passing acquaintance, not a longtime, live-in companion" (Chip Ingram)

Resolving Conflict (after prayer & reflection)
  • Deal with the present issue
  • Refrain from using words like "always" and "never"
  • Examine yourself - your motives, mood, and feelings
  • Control your temper
  • Try to understand the other person's position and feelings
  • Use "I" words rather than "you" statements
  • Stick to the issues and don't attach the other person's character
  • Listen
  • Remain open-minded
  • Don't make statement that negate any possible response- that trap, corner, box or them the person in
  • Assume innocence until proven guilty rather than vice versa
  • Be aware of the surroundings and those nearby, and do so privately as possible
  • Stick to the content of the argument, not the process or the person
  • After the incident, don't recount it to others in an effort to gain allies
  • Be willing to compromise
  • Be willing to admit weaknesses and mistakes and to say, "I'm sorry."

5. Re-pattern your mind
  • Romans 12:2 - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
  • Feelings follow thinking: if you think negatively you will feel negatively
  • Repent not just of acts, but of wrong thoughts
  • Learning to think like Jesus - WWJT (what would Jesus think?)
    • Conflict situation
    • Trust the Father
    • Living for God
    • Choosing to focus on the right thought

6. Rely on God's Help
  • Romans 15:5 - May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus
  • Means- your relationship & your closeness to Christ
  • Heart transplant- Psalm 51
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